The Word “Slut”
With valentines day with in two weeks of us, a lot of my friends have begun talking about what they’re planning, whether it be crying on the couch watching rom coms or taking their loved one to a fancy restaurant. I always feel like right after Christmas, everyone begins shoving valentines day down the throats of everyone else.
Between Valentines day and the GOP debates I’ve been thinking a lot about societies attitude towards sexuality and all the taboos that go with it; abortion, the word “slut”, body image, gender roles, and everything in between.
I have a lot of blogging ahead of me and for the next day or two, during study breaks I’m planning to blog about all of those topics.
Enough about that lets get started.
About a year or two ago, I saw a video that changed the way I thought about the word “slut”. I never gave much thought to labels like “slut”, “skank”, “whore” or otherwise derogatory terms. I didn’t feel it effected me at all, as I had never (at least to my knowledge) been called a “slut” or anything similar.
The more I thought about it, the more I began to notice other peoples usage of the word. There have been several instances since my heightened awareness of the word, in which I have wanted to do nothing more then take a backhand to someones face.
Often, I find myself biting my tongue in conversation in which the word “slut” is used fluently. The first time I ever pointed out to someone, it made no difference. In fact I still find myself getting on this persons case when he uses the word.
We were standing in the hall at school just before lunch break. All the classes were just getting out. A girl walked by us wearing TnA sweatpants and a low cut shirt.
He turned to me and said “See that girl?”
I replied “Yeah?”
“Shes a slut”
This was conversation we often had and usually I’d just shrug it off, move on to the next topic. With my heightened sensitivity to the word, for the first time, I looked at him and asked
He thought for a second and pointed at the topic of our conversation, who was going about her business putting her books in her locker “Look at how she’s dressed. She’s a slut”
“I don’t see anything wrong with what she’s wearing”
“No, she shouldn’t be wearing that”
“But last week, when your girlfriend bought basically the same outfit you were all for giving her tons of praise and telling her she should dress like that more often” I was quick to point out
“Yeah, but it looks good on her. That girl can’t pull it off”
I shook my head and changed the topic to keep myself from getting upset over nothing. When his girlfriend, whom we had both been waiting for came out of class, I put the conversation in the back of my mind.
Since, I’ve constantly noticed peoples quickness to point out perceived flaws in a complete strangers outfit. I’m not excluded from this group, but when I catch myself thinking “She shouldn’t be wearing that” or “she looks like a slut”, I’m quick to tell myself its a) none of my business, b) she could easily look at me and think the very same thing and/or c) find something about what that persons wearing that does look good.
I’ve overheard many a conversation where two guys talking are about a chick and the conversation goes along the lines of:
Guy 1: Did you fuck her?
Guy 2: No, she didn’t want to
Guy 1: What a slut
Guy 2: I know right?
I always find it ironic because I’ve heard just as many conversations that go like this:
Guy 1: Did you fuck her?
Guy 2: Yeah
Guy 1: She sleeps with everyone, shes a slut
Guy 2: I know right?
Either way you can’t win.
I think its safe to say, that none of us are fashion police. None of us look like airbrushed models and none of us have a stylist living in our closet telling us how to dress in the morning. The perception of perfection differs for each person but its no ones place to put someone down, regardless of how “slutty” you think they look or how much you dislike the way a garment fits someones body. Beauty has no size or color, but it does have an attitude.
You don’t do anyone any good by pointing out what you think is wrong with them. If someones happy with themselves, then why is it your business to tell them otherwise? As long as their not gyrating in front of you wearing nothing but fishnet underpants, its really none of your business. They aren’t hurting a single person by being confident but you’re hurting not just her, but every girl who wears what they want and feels good about themselves, by labeling one girl a slut.
Don’t go holding girls who don’t meet YOUR standard of beauty to that standard. Especially if their complete strangers. That just makes you a judgmental person
But what do I know? I wrote this whole thing in my underpants
Random Paragraph On Culture
North America is a strange place. We have the only culture which constantly holds up a fun house mirror to our faces and shows us who we truly are while demanding we spend more money on fleeting thoughts and thoughtless ideals. The “reality” stars who penetrate the headlines with their latest sex tape or new lines of anything, snort fame like the cocaine they’ll end up going to rehab for on some washed up celebrity television show, where they’ll be paraded and celebrated while the scientists and doctors, the truly brilliant; get nothing.
Its a cycle: find a fleeting face, give them fifteen minutes of fame, turn them into a brand and make them forget there human, squeeze every penny out of their success, profit off their downfall, find a new face, rinse, wash and repeat. All the while as the cycle creates a culture of mediocrity. The fun house mirror changes, providing new excess and making uglier characters of the people who buy into everything, unknowingly growing dumber and dumber and dumber as they forget how to think and pay the marketing heads to do it for them.
Obesity: A symtom of a cultural problem
Obesity In North America
I saw a fake Time Magazine cover for “The Obesity Epidemic In America” today and it got me thinking. Its not like this “Obesity Epidemic” is a new issue. As far as I could remember, the growing waistlines of North Americans has been an issue of discussion.
We shouldn’t be looking at obesity as an epidemic. Obesity is not a disease, its a symptom of a culture we’ve managed to create with our excess resources. Yes, its unhealthy to put bullshit chemicals into your body and live a sedentary lifestyle. And while obesity may be a result of too much food and sitting around all day (in some cases, not all); obesity is just the part of the problem you can see.
As much as I hate to point fingers on something like the issue of obesity; because it defiantly doesn’t boil down to one factor, for one person. Its not one size fits all issue. I’ve only heard the idea of this culture of excess and money that we have created, talked about in one or two articles as a factor of obesity, but I think it is one of the most important.
I do have a theory on why the factor of our culture as an obesity factor is rarely talked about. Have you ever seen that MadTV sketch with Christa Flanagan, and shes wearing a fat suit and she wants to know how to loose weight, and this guy gives her a pentathlete that says “Eat Less Move More”?
Think about that ideal. If one is to “Eat Less” and “Move More” they loose weight, but lets say you used to eat a lot of McDonalds, and now you don’t eat at McDonalds. You are now one costumer lost to McDonalds. As corporations and governments will refuse to admit, if you dangle a big enough stack of cash in their faces, you will get your way.
If people are unhealthy its a shame, but if a company fails or the stock market plunges, its a tragedy. The people who suffer don’t matter, the only concern to a company’s CEO is “Which garage should I park my Mercedes in tonight”. It doesn’t matter to economists, CEOs or politicians that the people in North America are dying from excess food while children are dying of starvation impoverished countries across the world. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter to them if its your money, my money, or even the starving children’s money in their pockets, because money is money and at the end of the day political debates are all about who has the highest paid lobbyists. Congress almost considered Pizza a vegetable last year. If that doesn’t scream “Pizza companies want more money! So they hired lobbyist to make it so” I don’t know what does.
Being fat is a sign of a excess and sitting on your ass all day, but its the only sign.
Look at the plight of local farmers. Look at other countries standard of life in comparison to ours. In other parts of the world people live on barely ten dollars a day, here we don’t even think about dropping ten dollars for a pair of headphones or a few bucks for a single meal.
I’ve been thin my whole life, I’ve always been under or in the tenth percentile for height and weight. Despite being thin my whole life, I didn’t realize how unfit I was until I started jogging three years ago. While you couldn’t see the any sign of unhealthy eating or a sedentary lifestyle reflected on my body, it sure as shit was obvious when I ran. As I continued to jog and started reforming my diet to be healthier, I slowly and subconsciously started doing something that all North American girls should do but most don’t.
I started liking my body.
At first I was reluctant to the idea that my body was fine the way it was, because I saw all these little flaws. I couldn’t like my face because my nose was too big. I couldn’t like my stomach because it was too flabby. Thighs/legs not toned enough. Hair too thin. Boobs too small. Ass too small. Eyes too big. The list goes on.
But my body gets me places. My legs do this thing called walking, you see, and I can go almost anywhere doing this walking thing. Its amazing! I have these things called vocal chords, and they help me communicate. I have thumbs. Thumbs. Thumbs are amazing.
The human body is amazing. No matter how you look on outside, you have the ability to form thoughts and that makes you amazing, no matter how many flaws or what size you are.
While beauty has no size, it is always important to take care of yourself. Caring for yourself is the best way to show your beautiful body some love. No matter how you look you are always amazing.
So to all of you big girls out there, remember; the yo-yo diet industry is the only industry that makes money by failing. The only way to be the perfect size is to take care of your body and love every curve and every flaw. Happiness will fallow. Beauty has no size, the only persons standard who matters is yours. So love yourself, so take care of YOU.
But what do I know. I’m just some skinny 17 year old trapped in this crazy culture of excess.